Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't deserve a penis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
