My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida