I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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