What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.