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• (858): View more from California

  Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

  (858): View more from California

  i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas

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• (917): View more from New York City

  my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You live a charmed life.

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• (415): View more from California

  My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug

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