Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
