Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
