dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
