Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
