I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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