ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize