how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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