the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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