I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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