You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize