I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and she was petting her beer can
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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