last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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