I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
