I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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