I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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