guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
