What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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