So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
