Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT

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(214): View more from Texas

Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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(317): View more from Indiana

You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".

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(424): View more from California

i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!

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(206): View more from Washington

Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.

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