Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like abortions should bother me more

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(801): View more from Utah

He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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(440): View more from Ohio

i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.

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(727): View more from Florida

Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.

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