How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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