dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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