I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize