I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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