gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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