You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
