you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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