'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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