hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize