We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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