I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
