i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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