I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize