I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
