I don't remember. Are we still dating?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
