yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
