i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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