I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
