Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
