Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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