Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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