I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize