last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize