Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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