i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
