belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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