wrigley field is MILF paradise
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize