i jhust puked up my retainher.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize