we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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