my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
