Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything