We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES