How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
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A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?