I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
