The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
