Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
