If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
