Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
