i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
