i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
