end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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