Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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