its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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