Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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