just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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