Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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