I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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