Buhtt sex?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
