ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
